Cummings Going

In a move that surprised nobody after a week of turmoil behind the lace curtains of No. 10 Downing Street, Dominic Cummings, who said he would be ‘gone before Christmas’ when PE awoke this morning, has gone already.

Seen carting out his personal effects in a brown box, reminiscent of a Lehman Brothers banker at the height of the financial crisis, the scale of the reshuffle furiously going on was made clear.

Once Brexit has ‘got done’ attention will shift to the uppish new PR anchorwoman, formerly of Newsnight, Allegra Stratton. Sounding like a 1980s Austin but with all the allure of a 911 from the same decade, she will be roaring onto our screens just this side of Christmas.

In the New Year we have an overdue Cabinet reshuffle to say goodbye to Gavin Weaselson. Wancock is likely to survive in the Cabinet but possibly in a new role. Govey seems set for a promotion.

Well, enjoy your weekend. On the night the Yorkshire Ripper died, a half-blind rodent from one county north finally ran out of road.